Peaches Gets The Tiger Treatment

Music genius and saviour of the magazine world Peaches Geldof has caught Tiger Wooditis symptoms include; Drug fuelled sex binges, kind of denials, broke ass ho making some cash off you and Endorsement deal dropping.
Peaches who up until today had a sure fire way of paying her dealer bills with a cheque from underwear line Miss Ultimo.
However since heroin addicts dont seem to spend that much cash on underwear...go figure?!
& Miss Ultimos target audience is women aged 18-25 they smacked Peaches bank account harder than Elin did Tiger.
But its not all sad news as the staff in Debenham stores everywhere rejoyced at not having to look at Peaches wonk eyed face anymore

Music Monday

I can only but apologise for my lack of recent updates, let put this down to a slow news weekend and not the fact Peaches Geldof called over for some opiumtea.
Anyway lets the week as we mean to go on, with the mellow cheery mood.
Zoey Deschanel you know Summer from 500 Days of, and her mate M.Ward are back with the second album from their band She and Him titled Volume 2.
While the creative juices clearly werent flowing at the naming of meeting dont let this stop you from giving you ear holes a treat on this miserable Monday.
She and Him sounds like the 60s meets your Grans Sunday wardrobe and this can only be a good thing!
So get Culturally Illiterate and download it here
and check out Zoey in the first Video from the album

Peaches Geldof Loves Heroin & Scientology

The delicate flower that is Peaches Geldof is in the middle of her own sex scandal which can mean one thing, she wants a reality show on E!
While Peaches was recording her first album in LA (just take a deep breath and let that slide) she found someone sleeping on her couch, convinced him to drive around at 4am find some needles, use up her leftover heroin and give her VaJewJew(copyright Amy Winehouse)a good servicing- standard tuesday in a geldof house!
But when this poor guy woke up with what we'll just call a killer hangover and what he thought was a serious case of the cheese dreams, he was sweating, in a sauna, in a speedo in a Scientology centre, with Tom Cruise beside him(that last part may not be true)
Peaches future reference a good heroin fuelled one night stand leaves a Xanax,a bucket and well just leaves!

Important Amy Winehouse Vagina News

In a bid to promote proper dinner conversation & make sure women everywhere talk about how healthy their vagina's are Amy Winehouse, has teamed who with the makers of Mooncup- if you don't know what that is be thankful, VERY THANKFUL!
To make sure these efforts are heard & to put your mind at ease, mooncup asked Amy what she calls her snatch and the answer VaJew-Jew obviously, i hope that shits circumcised!
In case your feeling a bit on the adventurous side or you enjoy a good vagisil ad get Culturally Illiterate and find out how the MoonCup works now

Sue Sylvester is BACK!

Glee has been on hiatus for what seems like an eternity and although the soundtrack has been all over the radio like Jennifer Aniston circling the lonely hearts column, it just doesn't have the same impact without some snarling comments from my main squeeze and soon to be cougar Momma Sue Sylvester. Fox have realised this and released two brand new trailers focusing on how Sue"Cs" the sneaky gays of today and some power ballads to keep your shower singalong happy.
So get Culturally Illiterate and let the countdown begin

Sexy Asians

Every manicurists worse nightmare and soon to be every ladies new speed dial drunk fuck has just been discovered in China, leap step forward 6year old Xion Lee. With 14 fingers and 16 toes this little fellow has the people at Clark shoes jumping with glee!
Bur some haters in Asian are trying to rain on Xions parade and want to operate on whats clearly gonna be his big money earner, i see comic books, movies & t-shirts in the not so distant future

Lindsays Career Gets Worse?!

Lindsay Lohan the patron saint of Indian Orphans to you and me, has decided to take her fashion career(lets just pretend) the same way as her acting. That is to say say shes gone from creative director at Ungaro to the douche bags official calling card Ed Hardy. This is the I Know Who Killed Me to her Mean Girls
Full Disclosure needed; Ive watched I Know Killed Me 3times and suggest you do the same, its the Showgirls of our generation.
If your wondering what this means for Ed Hardy lets get Cultural Illiterate and have a look at how she graced Fornarinas last ad campaign
Directed by Anna Wintour(not really)